In the profound words of one birthday well-wisher; "41 is not all that special!"
After over sleeping, my birthday began like a king ... on the throne! (I'm assuming you do not want any details other than that)
With everyone running late, I opted for a breakfast of cold cereal, only to discover we had about 1/2 a cup of milk in the house. So, plan "B" was a quick pot of Cream of Wheat ... wouldn't thicken, turned out more like ... the water in the sink after doing dishes.
Rush the kids off to school ... hold it, they had to go back in to retrieve some crucial piece of paper or something. Unload with 2 minutes to spare as wife text me that she forgot to bring a hat for "Hat Day" and asking if I could bring one from the front closet. Return to the house, leaving toddler in running vehicle as I dash in to find a hat. All hats in front closet are ski caps--if I'm bringing a hat for Hat Day, it's going to be a COOL hat--so quick hunt for one of my two storage containers of unique hats, but how to choose one--grab 5. Back to the school, line up several great options to choose from and wife picks ... plain-ish ski cap.
Back at the house I unload 5 unchosen supremely cool, unique hats and toddler to find front door left open from the retrieval of the useless piece of paper earlier. (Ye, you are wanting to blame me for the open front door, however I entered through the garage to save time when retrieving ultra sweet head gear!)
You might assume (you know what that does right?) this is the point--having gotten wife and two of the three kids off to school--that I begin to enjoy my birthday. If you know anything about me, that would be a good guess because you know that my ultimate birthday would be spent in solitude. However, if that is what you are assuming, you clearly forgot that I still had a toddler with me! I couldn't even get some privacy on a return trip to the throne room! (You are pretty happy right about now that I haven't yet find the battery charger to my camera, aren't you?!?)
To this point in My Day I had not had a shower, time for devotions, a full meal and had received only one solid birthday wish--a text message from youth in Florida. In fairness, my wife did mumble in passing about halfway through the bustle of the morning; "I guess I should say 'Happy Birthday.'" My two oldest sons, my own flesh and blood refused to sing "Happy Birthday" to me when it was suggest by my wife ask she fled from the house! My only gifts were the 2 my youngest son ... made for me (OH to have that camera charger so I could share that 'joy'!). Come to think about it, maybe it was "Happy Birthday" he was 'singing' for over an hour as I was trying to put him to sleep!
Not to dis my youngest sons 'presents,' but the best gift I got may have been the hot shower I was finally able to take at 11:45 AM. Peace and quiet were too shortly lived as my special Joe's Corral lunch was interrupted when the baby woke up early and insisted that he have my immediate and undivided attention. Tranquility was only shoved further into the galaxy when the older two got home with cartoon-level energy that had been pent up for 8 hours.
I know what you are thinking and I would have "gone to the garden and eaten worms," but it was raining!
In honest hindsight, it wasn't all terrible. I did receive a card with a generous gift from my mother-n-law of all people. Ditched my wife with all 3 kids and took myself out to eat. Got the yearly call from my best friend, talked the whole drive home and hung up 2 minutes before Chuck started. The baby "called" my wife to bed about 11:20 PM and I was able to spend the last 30 minutes of my 41 year like I was secretly hoping to spend the whole day -- ALONE!
As Willy Shakespeare would say ... All's Well that Ends Well
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
You Spin Me 'Round and 'Round
I realize that most kids like to be spun 'round and 'round, my youngest particularly prefers his spinning to be done upside down. He also like anything that spins. Yesterday it was two old style wooden tops, with the pull string that must be wound around it each time. Though he has figured out how the whole thing works, he has not quite developed the coordination to put it all together nor the speed and strength to "rip" the cord in a way that will actually cause the top to spin. So of course, he brings all the parts to me and says; "Unh!" (translation: Put this all together and make it work...NOW!). The two tops we have work actually quite well, except for the fact that spinning tops are just too cool to leave spinning and apparently must be touched in full spin. Cute at first, but it really wears out after the first half-hour!
Today it was his other favorite spinning device...the Salad Spinner. My wife has kindly left it in a cabinet easily accessible to his little hands. So whenever he gets bord, out it comes. He can't really spin it himself, but he loves it still. He doesn't want you to touch it while he is "spinning" it, not even to hold the lid on or help him get it going. I am not sure what is so exciting about it, especially considering it has a solid lid so the only thing you see spin is the little turn knobby on the top, but he loves it. Hours of free entertainment ... OK, at least several minutes!
I Guess It's Time for a Haircut...
I was at a wedding Sunday and making small talk with the conference Youth director. After politely asking how things were going for me, he said; "Wow, 2 boys and a girl, huh?" If only he had seen the pretty pink purse that my "little girl" insisted on carrying--properly placed on his shoulder--to pick-up his big brothers from school yesterday, yes he proudly carried it though the whole school!
* again, my deepest apologies for having "mis-packed" the camera battery charger causing these post to be text-only!
Today it was his other favorite spinning device...the Salad Spinner. My wife has kindly left it in a cabinet easily accessible to his little hands. So whenever he gets bord, out it comes. He can't really spin it himself, but he loves it still. He doesn't want you to touch it while he is "spinning" it, not even to hold the lid on or help him get it going. I am not sure what is so exciting about it, especially considering it has a solid lid so the only thing you see spin is the little turn knobby on the top, but he loves it. Hours of free entertainment ... OK, at least several minutes!
I Guess It's Time for a Haircut...
I was at a wedding Sunday and making small talk with the conference Youth director. After politely asking how things were going for me, he said; "Wow, 2 boys and a girl, huh?" If only he had seen the pretty pink purse that my "little girl" insisted on carrying--properly placed on his shoulder--to pick-up his big brothers from school yesterday, yes he proudly carried it though the whole school!
* again, my deepest apologies for having "mis-packed" the camera battery charger causing these post to be text-only!
Monday, September 20, 2010
If Ever I'm President...
I have long asserted that if I were ever to be elected President of the United States of America, that the first law I would enact is to make it illegal for television stations to run commericals simultaneous with any other station. I believe that this law would be strongly supported by 99% of heterosexual males and a vast majority of the remaining constituents. To gain further support of wives and mothers I would attach a rider that would forbid any type of "commercial product" advertising during children's programming. In addition, I might even consider mandating the use of telemarketers in a government experiment to determine the benefits of capital punishment.
My second law would be to make it unlawful for parents of children under school age* to be employed outside the home more than part-time. This might at first seem financially impossible (unless you truly believe that our children are our most valuable asset and priceless), but let me explain. As part of this law, stay-at-home parents would be required to be employed as care-givers/teachers, a kind of "combat pay." You may ask, "Who pays them?" Two options. (1) Government funding. We do away with all federal and state assistance to the so called "pre-schools" (glorified day care, so named to make parents fell less guilt for leaving their kids with strangers), and use these current funds in this new capacity. Additional support can come as a tax credit (pay) for parents staying home with their young children. (2) Spousal pay. You could call it a glorified adult allowance--if you really want to demean your spouse--but I call it "(combat) pay." It would be required of any spouse choosing to work full-time outside of the home and/or their employer. I have often said (even prior to taking on the position myself) that "Mother" is the most difficult, least appreciated and under rewarded profession in the world. It is way past time that "they" start receiving remuneration (employment) for all their "free" work.
Now you know my platform. It is up to you how you will vote.
* Cognitively, developmentally, and socially ready to be in school, generally this is not before the chronological age of 7.
My second law would be to make it unlawful for parents of children under school age* to be employed outside the home more than part-time. This might at first seem financially impossible (unless you truly believe that our children are our most valuable asset and priceless), but let me explain. As part of this law, stay-at-home parents would be required to be employed as care-givers/teachers, a kind of "combat pay." You may ask, "Who pays them?" Two options. (1) Government funding. We do away with all federal and state assistance to the so called "pre-schools" (glorified day care, so named to make parents fell less guilt for leaving their kids with strangers), and use these current funds in this new capacity. Additional support can come as a tax credit (pay) for parents staying home with their young children. (2) Spousal pay. You could call it a glorified adult allowance--if you really want to demean your spouse--but I call it "(combat) pay." It would be required of any spouse choosing to work full-time outside of the home and/or their employer. I have often said (even prior to taking on the position myself) that "Mother" is the most difficult, least appreciated and under rewarded profession in the world. It is way past time that "they" start receiving remuneration (employment) for all their "free" work.
Now you know my platform. It is up to you how you will vote.
* Cognitively, developmentally, and socially ready to be in school, generally this is not before the chronological age of 7.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Night Owl, Jr.
Headed off again this weekend for time with family. This time to send off the Drs. Netteburg to preparatory time in France for their 6-year Mission Service to Chad, Africa (French is the nation language of Chad). * You will soon be able to follow their adventure -- and learn how to make donations -- @ http://www.missionarydoctors.blogspot.com/ (I suggested several much more "creative" names but apparently they thought this would be more appropriate!).
After dropping Olen, Danea and Lyol (with 3 full, exactly 50 lbs. checked bags and 7 carry-ons) at Dulles Airport, Kerm, Charity, Ben and I headed to Staunton having left Toby & Seth with Ronnee to make sure all got on the plane -- Charity had received 2 tickets to see Garrison Keiller and had invited Kerm to go with her, so we needed to get Ben and I home, them the tickets from the house and on their way. Gamma and the big brothers arrived about 15 minutes later, had some supper and headed to bed where Gamma had promised to read them a story, which left me 40 minutes to get Ben to sleep before the Sunday Night Football game between the Cowboys and Redskins. Ye--40 minutes later, Ben and I sit down on the couch to watch the game! After several more failed attempts to get the kid to go to sleep, I started thinking that his mother would probably be home soon and waiting on her might be the best solution. That was until I received a text from my father-n-law at 9:00 PM that they were just at intermission of the "concert" that had started at 7:00 PM and was 45 minutes away. 2.5 hours later my 1.5 year-old was still chirping around, happy and awake as could be--as long as no one was trying to get him to sleep. Praise God for Gammas who feel stronger about grand kids sleeping than enduring the blood-curdling screams of a very stubborn child that doesn't want to go to bed. After 17 long excruciating minutes, Gamma re-emerged victorious, though the pathetic sounds of a now sleeping child still rang of disrupted breathing patterns as he tried to recover from the hyperventilating scream-fest. Mom walked in the door 30 minutes later.
Of course, he was up before the sun!
If you are wondering how he "re-charged," it was with the grand total of 2 baby spoon bits of baby mush, 5/6th of a banana, a football shaped Oreo (from his brother's uneaten lunch) and about 2-tablespoons of ice cream!
After dropping Olen, Danea and Lyol (with 3 full, exactly 50 lbs. checked bags and 7 carry-ons) at Dulles Airport, Kerm, Charity, Ben and I headed to Staunton having left Toby & Seth with Ronnee to make sure all got on the plane -- Charity had received 2 tickets to see Garrison Keiller and had invited Kerm to go with her, so we needed to get Ben and I home, them the tickets from the house and on their way. Gamma and the big brothers arrived about 15 minutes later, had some supper and headed to bed where Gamma had promised to read them a story, which left me 40 minutes to get Ben to sleep before the Sunday Night Football game between the Cowboys and Redskins. Ye--40 minutes later, Ben and I sit down on the couch to watch the game! After several more failed attempts to get the kid to go to sleep, I started thinking that his mother would probably be home soon and waiting on her might be the best solution. That was until I received a text from my father-n-law at 9:00 PM that they were just at intermission of the "concert" that had started at 7:00 PM and was 45 minutes away. 2.5 hours later my 1.5 year-old was still chirping around, happy and awake as could be--as long as no one was trying to get him to sleep. Praise God for Gammas who feel stronger about grand kids sleeping than enduring the blood-curdling screams of a very stubborn child that doesn't want to go to bed. After 17 long excruciating minutes, Gamma re-emerged victorious, though the pathetic sounds of a now sleeping child still rang of disrupted breathing patterns as he tried to recover from the hyperventilating scream-fest. Mom walked in the door 30 minutes later.
Of course, he was up before the sun!
If you are wondering how he "re-charged," it was with the grand total of 2 baby spoon bits of baby mush, 5/6th of a banana, a football shaped Oreo (from his brother's uneaten lunch) and about 2-tablespoons of ice cream!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Pushy Pitton
38 years ago I was an expert at interpreting the incoherent babylings of one particular toddler. This skill served me well. As the story goes, I was able to "interpret" for the young thing in a way that often resulted in the young one receiving something they "wanted" and coincidently I did too. Oh what I wouldn't give to be able to re-aquire the ability to understand what toddler grunts, churps and screams actually mean. Apparently, I am not the only one that wishes I was "bi-lingual"!
*Hippy Wife Warning* (If you are not accustom to my wife's hippy practices, you might want to skip this paragraph as to not taint any high regard you might have for her--or me!) On a recent road trip (see previous blog entry) we went into a fast food restuarant to ... be pro-active about the need for future stops. While waiting in line to order, Ben decided he was ready to "eat" right then and there (if you know my wife, you know this has never been a problem for her). My dear wife tried to put him off, at least until we got back into the van, but he wanted what he wanted when he wanted it! So, standing in front of her he pushed until she was close to a chair. Then he went around to her side, grabbed her pant leg and turned her to line up with the seat. Finally, he went back in front of her, pushed her down into the chair, climbed onto her lap and assumed the proper position to get what he wanted! I am not sure if I should be proud or disturbed! Maybe a little of both.
Much like his eldest aunty (when she was his age), my 21-month-old son does not yet use words--at least ones that are noticeable as English. However, I am hoping that unlike with his aunty, I am able to understand what he is trying to say before his 3rd birthday.
(Total aside--He just brought me a tube of toothpaste. I think he wanted it opened so he could eat it!)
In an effort to help us understand his "needs," Ben has resorted to "physical" communication. In it's most passive form he simulates a "jump" with his arms up in the air to indicate that he needs picked up to get something out of his reach. Other than that he employs a much more "hands-on" approach, pushing, pulling, even turning you to do, get or be what he wants (skills I believe learned from time spent with his younger cousin).*Hippy Wife Warning* (If you are not accustom to my wife's hippy practices, you might want to skip this paragraph as to not taint any high regard you might have for her--or me!) On a recent road trip (see previous blog entry) we went into a fast food restuarant to ... be pro-active about the need for future stops. While waiting in line to order, Ben decided he was ready to "eat" right then and there (if you know my wife, you know this has never been a problem for her). My dear wife tried to put him off, at least until we got back into the van, but he wanted what he wanted when he wanted it! So, standing in front of her he pushed until she was close to a chair. Then he went around to her side, grabbed her pant leg and turned her to line up with the seat. Finally, he went back in front of her, pushed her down into the chair, climbed onto her lap and assumed the proper position to get what he wanted! I am not sure if I should be proud or disturbed! Maybe a little of both.
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