If Ever I'm President...

I have long asserted that if I were ever to be elected President of the United States of America, that the first law I would enact is to make it illegal for television stations to run commericals simultaneous with any other station. I believe that this law would be strongly supported by 99% of heterosexual males and a vast majority of the remaining constituents. To gain further support of wives and mothers I would attach a rider that would forbid any type of "commercial product" advertising during children's programming. In addition, I might even consider mandating the use of telemarketers in a government experiment to determine the benefits of capital punishment.

My second law would be to make it unlawful for parents of children under school age* to be employed outside the home more than part-time. This might at first seem financially impossible (unless you truly believe that our children are our most valuable asset and priceless), but let me explain. As part of this law, stay-at-home parents would be required to be employed as care-givers/teachers, a kind of "combat pay." You may ask, "Who pays them?" Two options. (1) Government funding. We do away with all federal and state assistance to the so called "pre-schools" (glorified day care, so named to make parents fell less guilt for leaving their kids with strangers), and use these current funds in this new capacity. Additional support can come as a tax credit (pay) for parents staying home with their young children. (2) Spousal pay. You could call it a glorified adult allowance--if you really want to demean your spouse--but I call it "(combat) pay." It would be required of any spouse choosing to work full-time outside of the home and/or their employer. I have often said (even prior to taking on the position myself) that "Mother" is the most difficult, least appreciated and under rewarded profession in the world. It is way past time that "they" start receiving remuneration (employment) for all their "free" work.

Now you know my platform. It is up to you how you will vote.

* Cognitively, developmentally, and socially ready to be in school, generally this is not before the chronological age of 7.